ChosyXKrieg, a "fan"fiction of the R2D wikia's best couple.
Written by Love and Krieg, with co-authoring from VietnameseRooster.
This was never officially finished by the true author.
Part 1: The Abduction
By Love and Krieg
Chosy had lived alone for quite some time. Moderating over some server of R2D. He had experienced many things as a mod but none were as terrifying and titillating as what was about to happen. As he went around, flaunting his beard. He attracted the feelings of a certain gal...
Chosy sat their sipping his cup of hot coffee as he sat at his moderator table, stroking his beard. As he was looking at the screen of his computer, he felt something gently stroking his beard. It was Love and Krieg. (L@K). He jerked back in surprise but her hands were stuck in his beard. This only caused pain as the hand caused great resistance when he did his jerk.
He glared in anger as he started to get L@k's fist out of his beard. She chuckled due to the tickling sensation of his beard gently scraping against her hand. She blushed as Chosy gave her the stink eye as he continued to try to dislodge the hand.
Eventually, her hand was dislodged for she could no longer continue with the sensation and Chosy called Security in to remove L@K. As the security grappled onto both of her arms to drag her out, she shouted... "Chosy, you will be mine!" Chosy just ignored this, thinking it was just a crazed fan... Little did he know, it would not be the end....
As chosy headed home, he could have sworn he heard the pitter patter of her footsteps, slowly following him home. As he was nearing the large hedges near his house, 2 arms came out of the bush and started to pull him in. He struggled frantically to break free of the hands coming from the bush. As he waved around, his bare flesh was being sliced by the thorny branches, spikey leafs. Eventually, the hands let go and he ran home.
In his house, he sat in his room, applying the bandages. As he wrapped them around, he started to get flashbacks. It all made sense now. He had been getting weird emails and phone calls which all read, "Chosy you will be mine!" Right before he put on his sleeping mask, he heard rustling by the spikey scrubs near the window. He thought he saw a figure by the window. He ran over, tripping over a box lying on the ground. He than staggered back to his soft fluffy bed as he dismissed the sighting. As he slowly slid on the sleep mask, he saw a figure near his closet. At this point, he thought his lack of sleep was taking a toll on him, he settled down and sank into his bed for a well deserved sleep....
Around 30 minutes after he had laid down, he heard the closet creek open. He dismissed it as the wind outside and continued to attempt to go back to sleep. As he started to drift off, he felt something, someone massaging his wounds. He tried to catch the "thing" by surprise as he waited for the right moment to yank off the mask and grab the "thing". As the massage went on, he was slowly losing the will to end it but after a couple of minutes, he turned over and yanked off his mask rapidly.
As he did it, she ran off and bolted for the door. Chosy, still groggy from the massage, took off a bit slower but the chase was on. They ran through the hall as she was looking for an exit. She than ran into a room, thinking it would lead to an exit but it turned out to be a bathroom. However, there was a small window above the toilet. She climbed onto the toilet but forgot that Chosy did not put the seat down, she lost her footing and her legs fell into the toilet. Due to the noise, Chosy knew exactly where she was. She then looked around for anything to use to defend herself, she found a bucket. She than dunked the bucket into the toilet and waited.
As Chosy slowly made is way up. She tried to climb up again but this time, she put the seat down. As she opened the window, Chosy burst through the door. She than picked up the bucket and splashed the water onto Chosy. Chosy had no idea what he was hit with even as some of it flew into his mouth. He spasmed in rage as he tried to dry himself in an attempt to get the water out of his eyes.
She slowly started to climb and crawl out of the small window. As half of her body was through the window, she felt something grab onto her long sock cladded legs. Chosy was furiously tugging on them. It was hard for him for her legs were soaked in the toilet water. She started to laugh due to the sensation of chosy's fingers brushing against her legs. Eventually, due to the strain, the socks eventually slipped off and she managed to crawl out. Chosy just sat there, staring out the window, holding both socks in each hands, screaming in rage.
The next day at the R2D headquarters, Chosy went to his seat to prepare for another day of moderating. As he went to turn on the computer, he noticed a sign taped to the screen of his computer. The note read:
Dear Chosykins. I hope you don't mind that the water was toilet water<3 You will be mine. I love you.
He than got up and took the paper to Zih. Zih just laughed at Chosy's claim that someone was after him. He than walked to his seat, filled with rage and anger. As he sat down once again, his chair broke into every piece it was made out of. He than found a note saying:
I know where you work<3 I could be anywhere.
As Chosy sat at his table eating his lunch, he was looking around, cautious that Krieg could appear at any moment. He went on through the rest of the day, glancing around at every 5 minutes and refusing to interact with some of the newer mods, fearing she might be one of them.
He than begged Place to ride in his "Free mod inside" fan to be able to be dropped off at his house so he could not be ambushed on the way home. As he left the Van, Place gave him a worried look and then drove away. Chosy feared for his sanity/life at this point. As he opened the door, grappling hooks shot out of the darkness. As they wrapped around him, dragging him into the darkness, he screamed hoping that Place would hear his voice.
It was too late. He was slowly dragged into the basement... He was then bound to a bed, his bed... The basement had been transformed. He no longer recognized his own house's room. He than realised that he had not visited the basement for a long time and the thought that L@K was camping in his house crossed his mind...
In the corner of the room, he could see a voodoo doll made to look like him, a jar of his beard shavings, and a bucket... He then saw a figure he thought was a doll sitting in the corner get up. It was L@k. She then picked up the bucket and slowly walked toward Chosy. He struggled as she slowly approached with the bucket. "No, no no!" She than tipped the bucket and he was doused with extremely cold water with chunks of dry ice. He screamed due to the sudden surge of coldness entering his system. He lay there spasming and sinking into his soft bed... The bed felt softer than before... She then climbed on and started to cuddle him. He eventually collapsed due to his lack of sleep and slept...
He woke up the next morning to see a meal of military rations prepared for him. He laid there as he was spoon fed the rations. After being force fed, he asked if he was able to leave only to be replied a stern "no".
2 Days passed as he was held "hostage" in his own house being cared for by L@k. The staff at the R2D headquarters finally started to wonder why Chosy wasn't showing up... They eventually dismissed it as a sickness...
Part 2: "Hammer of the Gods"
By Love and Krieg
Eventually Love had to leave to go to work in order to fund her life and Chosy's. She had a job in a small "bakery". Her job was to make and bake cakes to be sold as health items to boost vitality. Everyday she would bring back a slice and tell Chosy that she was busy baking something big... What could it be...
As the day passed, Love would leave to go work at the bakery to work on baking more cakes. Eventually, the staff at the headquarters decided to mount a search party for Chosy. Love knew they were coming so she started to fortify the house incase anyone came to look for them. She had already parked her car in the backyard incase she and Chosy had to make a quick escape. She had placed landmines near the front door and in the halls incase anyone was going to bust in.
It was the weekend now. Krieg sat next to Chosy as she was washing chosy by rubbing him with a sponge on a stick. She made sure the sponge got every crevice. He had a very disgruntled look on his face as she dragged the sponge around his more sensitive parts. As she finished cleaning him, she dressed Chosy and left to go grab the tooth brush.
As she was going upstairs, she heard a car pull up the drive way, they were coming. "Search warrant!" Love then ran back downstairs and untied Chosy from the bed. She then dragged Chosy to the escape vehicle while he was still recovering from the intense rub down from the sponge.
She throws Chosy into the back of the car as she speeds off to the cake factory. She then tied Chosy to a nearby chair and continued to work on more cakes. Chosy noticed that something was wrong. Why was there a large cake mold that was much larger than him and nearly the size of a van. While Chosy puzzled, Love turning on the conveyor belt and pouring in large amounts of flour and egg yolks. As they were poured in, she walked to the far side to pull over a large length of hose. She then turned it on only to be sprayed by the water that flew out of the large bowl due to the power of the water.
"Chosy, I'm all wet<3"
He just glared as her damp clothing emphasized her features. She then started to mix the sticky mixture with a large 2X4. After her arms got tired, she opened a hatch at the bottom of the large bowl and huge chunks of dough started to drop onto the conveyor belt. At this point, Chosy managed to cut through the thin ropes with his nails like wolverine. He then made a mad dash at Love and pushed her onto the conveyor belt.
Before she could get up, a blob of the dough falls onto her body pinning her down. She desperately clawed to get the blob off but then, another one falls. She cries out for Chosy to help her but he just watches as her body becomes a large mess of dough. At this point, she is just glued to the conveyor belt as she and the rest of the dough fall into the large bowl which was almost full. 1/4th of her body stuck out of the top as she flayed her hands waiting for Chosy to lift her out.
Chosy then hit the red button which released some yeast into the mold. As the yeast rained down, she started to plead for him to get her out. He just watched as the dough slowly started to rise engulfing her body. After all of the yeast was dumped, a stirring stick mounted on the top of the ceiling started to stir the large batter to smooth out the mix. The stick pounded the mix and swirled around, bumping and stabbing at her body. She screamed in pain as she flayed what part of her body that was left.
Eventually, she ran out of energy and sank deeper into the mix. Then, the heater at the bottom turned on and the cake started to bake. As the mix heated up, Chosy heard her scream his name begging to be freed. Eventually, the screaming stopped and the cake was dumped out of the mold and onto a large plate. Frosting was later added onto the cake and a cherry was placed on top. At this point, Chosy realised what he had done. He had just activated the King cake and he gave it the power source it needed. Love's poor body. He slowly moved toward the exit as a large crown was put onto the cherry.
As it happened, a deafening loud bang was heard and the phrase. "Hammer of the gods." He bolted out the door and started to run. He had no idea how to get home. He had no idea where he was. He just knew he had to do one thing. Run as far away from the King Cake as possible. As he ran, cakes rained down from the sky and exploded around him, the concussive blast threw him around as he continued to run.
He needed a way to stop the king cake, but how.
Part 3: Chosy's Kidnapping
By Love and Krieg
Eventually, most of Krieg's body was excavated and the cake boss died. In the aftermath, the wooded area was now full of blocks of cake, frosting, and small strips of her clothes. While during the attack, a cake bomb had flung Chosy and knocked him out. Little did he know, Evil had taken Krieg for himself and loaded her unconscious body into her van, burying her under a pile of potatoes so she could not move or get out.
As Chosy started to regain consciousness, he realized that Evil and the cake were long gone now, all that was left for him was the long hike home. As soon as he got near the highway, he would call for Place's free mod van and hitches a ride back.
On the next day during lunch time, Chosy started to tell his co mods about what happened but none of them would believe him. He just sat there, giving his co workers an angry glare as Place gave him a wink for he knew what Chosy was talking about.
(Meanwhile, at Evil's)
Love woke up, bound to a chair by a long cord of potato vines. She looked around, looking for any signs of Chosy.
"Chossy!!"
"Chossy where are you!"
When she was shouting about, a potato was shoved into her gaping orifice.
"mppph"
Evil then came out from behind her and put his hands on her lips.
"Hussh, chosy is safe now... you are with me now."
Evil sets the chair outside.
Love, still struggling to break free had noticed her nails were rather long.
Eventually, Love knew she had to escape somehow. While Evil was tending his potato garden, she managed to slice through the vines with her untrimmed nails and made a run for it. She didn't care how many miles or zombies she had to go through in order to find her way back to Chosy.
As she ran, she looked back/flinched every time she heard a hunter lunge or a zombie growl. A few minutes later, Evil had come back to play with Love but, she was gone. He then noticed that the front door was open and set out to track her down.
Eventually, as she was running through the woods, she tripped over a log and alerted a nearby smoker. As she was getting up, a long slimy tongue wrapped around her body from her legs to her neck. As she struggled, the smoker slowly started to pull her body back. She had left her Rambo knife back in her house before she abducted Chosy which she regret.
As she was slowly losing the ability to breathe from being strangled, she finally resorted to crying out for help. She didn't want to do this because it might alert Evil who she knew would probably be looking for her. Eventually, Evil heard her calls for Chosy and killed the smoker in order to drag Love's limp body back home.
When they got home, Love's clothes were awfully torn up from the zombie attacks/branches, Evil knew what he had to do. In order to stop Love from escaping him again, he planted her limp body into his potato garden. He buried her waist into the ground so she could no longer escape. (Only her waist so basically she was lying on her back). He would use her body as nutrients for his potato garden.
After he was done burying her body, he then planted some potatoes over her body. He made sure the plants roots went around her body just to add to the dirt to stop her body form escaping.
When he was done, he had his farm hand Viet Rooster come in to tend the crops. At first, Viet wondered why there were arms and legs sticking out of the potato garden but he just dismissed it after Evil slipped him 100 extra dollars which he needed desperately to raise his family to not alert the police or anyone.
As Viet continued to care for the plants, he would add some straw into the garden to help the potatoes, As he did it, he would make sure to brush some of the straw against Love's legs just for the luls. He watched as love tried to dig herself out only to fail.
As noon came, Evil came down to feed Love his favorite thing to eat, potatoes. Even as love rejected, he would just shove the potato into her mouth and left it there until she wanted to eat it.
Every moment, Love was held there, she though of her knight in shining beards, Chosy. Viet thought it was rather funny that she thought Chosy was going to save her. At around night time, Love felt many hard things slowly digging their way through her tattered overcoat and into her skin, the roots, they were slowly growing and finding their way to her body. Her eyes widened as she realized that they were gmo seeds so they would grow faster.
Doomed she thought she was as she tried to sleep after the events of the day. By the next day, she had started to feel minor pains in her stomach area as some of the roots had found their way into her navel etc.
Part 4: EvilCreation's Potato Plantation
By Love and Krieg
After Viet returned home from feeding his family in the ghetto, he told Evil that his family was amazed with how he managed to get 100 and wanted to visit the work place. Evil started to worry that his family might call the health inspector to come in when they saw Love's body sticking out of the garden.
Viet told him that they would be here within an hour so. Evil had to think fast. He planted some of the potatoes near Love's feet so the roots would camouflage that part and smeared peanut butter all over her body and sprinkled on some wood chips etc. to make it look like the garden.
After they were done smearing Love with the peanut butter, Viet's family burst in. As they went in, they wondered, why was there the smell of peanut butter. Evil explained that they also grew peanuts and made peanut butter here. Viet's children eyed the mount of "peanut butter" carefully for they had saw it flinch. Love was trying her best to move to show that it was not a lump of dirt. Every time she moved, Evil made record for future usage.
After a very long and lengthy awkward discussion with Viet's family, they left and Evil glared angrily at love for trying to signal for help. Evil decided that Viet should lick the peanut butter off in order to not waste it.
Viet spent the next few work days cleaning up Love by licking. During those days. Evil would always bring his potatoes to the headquarters to share with people like Chosy. Chosy thought that it was odd that there was a piece of red skirt on his potato but he dismissed it.
(Viet's Contribution)
Slightly adjusting the red scarf that sat around his neck due to the heat, Viet looked out at the potato field. Most important thing was why the hell was he wearing a scarf in the first place, even if there was no telling where this plantation was located exactly. Oh, right. The important thing was freeing that eccentric girl who had somehow gotten herself stuck among the potato crop. His boss was out at the headquarters and wouldn't be back for hours, so it was probably best to get this done now
Lifting up his red skirt and carefully stepping over the precious potato crop that would surely get him killed if stepped on, Viet went over to the tool shed. Opening the door, he flicked on the light and found exactly what he was looking for: a shovel. Grabbing it, he skipped out of the shed, accidentally leaving the door open and the light on. Standing over Krieg's head which was the only thing poking out of the ground, Viet waved with his other hand. She spit on him. He sighed, wiping the saliva from his face with his hand. He went to digging, sometimes stopping to smash roots which had grown into Krieg's body.
Some time later, Viet had freed her. Well, most of her. There were quite a few roots still stuck in her body after the excavation had finished. Krieg looked down at the potato roots still stuck in her body, then back at Viet. He had skipped over to the shed, going to grab the hedge trimmers. As he did this, she had a confused look on her face as the oddly-cross dressing farm worker made his way over. Once he made his way over to the shed, a lawn mower flew out of it at blazing speed, causing Viet to drop his shovel and dive to the side. Krieg simply stepped to the side as the lawn mower shredded countless potato crops on its path of destruction. It eventually crashed into EvilCreation's farmhouse, completely destroying the wall and exploding spectacularly, setting the whole place ablaze.
Viet watched in horror as his life burned before his eyes. His boss was going to have his ass planted in the ground once he got back and saw this. Krieg had escaped by then, off to pursue Chosytwo. Viet followed after her, better to not stick around.
Part 5: "Swiggity Swoogity", Coming for Chosy
By Love and Krieg
As they finally ran out of the woods. Viet remembered his family. He knew that Evil would probably take it out on his family so he had to return. As soon as he reached his house, he discovered that Evil had burnt his shanty house and shot all of his family members. As he ran into the wreckage of the house, he heard his son moan out his last words."Why daddy, why'd you do it." Bleeheha, His son died in Viet's arms. After that, Evil grabbed Viet and smothered a cloth doused in chloroform and dragged him back to his burnt down plantation. He then forced Viet to rebuild threatening to kill him and he was never seen again.
The next day at the headquarters was a bit off than the rest. Chosy complained how his potato tasted like a rice patty and Evil just said that they had some new "fertilizer". As Chosy boarded the Place mobile to go home, he swore that he caught a glimpse of Love. He thought it was impossible, she had been missing for days now. She was still probably at Evils where no one knew what they were doing.
After he left the Place Mobile, the vehicle drove over a mine that Love had places earlier and Place was flung all the way to Evil's "new" plantation. Chosy carefully maneuvered himself around the traps that Love had places and went straight to the kitchen for a snack. He noticed how there was a ration lying on the table which made him worry. He thought to himself, "No, it can't be!"
As he slowly walked over to the steaming hot ration, he pulled out his chair and sat onto it. He then realized that he could not get off of the chair, Someone had super glued him to it. He tried in vain to get off which only ended with a large ripping noise of half of his pants and the back of his shirt.
His eyes widened as he realized what was happening. No, no, no he though as he heard the foot steps. "Chosssy!!! Did you miss me?" Chosy ran as fast as he could gaining speed because he was in "commando mode" all the way into his room. He locked the door and barricaded it with planks and a crate.
He knew that he would eventually have to leave the room for food, water, and to go to his job so he looked around for any item he could use as a weapon.
Part 6: Krieg the Moderator
By Love and Krieg
As Chosy looked around, desperately for any thing to defend himself with, he picked up a pencil, and a paper... He was so desperate, he resorted to using his imagination in order to help him. He drew a safe house on the paper and sat on it. Concentrating as hard as he could, he had a constipated look on his face when Love busted into the door. She started to laugh as she saw Chosy's expression. During her laughing fit, Chosy snuck out the door and drove his car to the parking lot of the headquarters to sleep in the parking lot.
Eventually Love got tired and went home. As she walked up the walkway, she noticed that there was a note on the door. She had been accepted to work at the headquarter to help manage the wikia. She smiled for once in her life (other than being with Chosy) because she knew that she could see Chosy every day now.
She then washed up and put on a fresh uniform for the next day. She could barely sleep due to the excitement. But one thing was on her mind, who helped urge the mods to accept her? On the back of the room, was the instruction on how to meet the person. "Meet me in the storage room."
As she left for her new job, she made sure to pack some flowers to give to Chosy, She decided to go extremely early in order to meet her mysterious helper and to hide and prepare to surprise Chosy as he sat down. As she entered the storage room, she was grabbed by Evil. She was shocked to see that Evil worked here. They both instantly recognized each other.
"Aww, did you bring flowers for me?"
"No, they are for Chosy!"
She bolted for the door only to realize that it was locked and Evil had the key to open it from the inside. She was trapped in the room with Evil until the rest of the mods eventually came in. Evil quickly cornered her and tried to shove potatoes into her mouth.
As this was happening. Place and company were in the place mobile, he was driving around town, picking up the mods because he knew that carpooling was good for the environment. As he was reaching the headquarters, InfiniteBread was on the sidewalk begging for PP so Place swerved, ran him over, and yelled, "20 points!". All he needed was 80 more points and he could buy a new van for the company.
Reposting
Eventually, Zih and the rest of the people got suspicious of what was happening in the storage room after hearing an assortment of grunting and thuds. When they sent an unfortunate mod to open the door and what he saw would scar him for life.
Love was lying on the ground with potatoes sticking out of her body while Evil had a large bag of potatoes and was in the act of trying to get her to eat one. Potatoes littered the floor along with bits of the flowers.
That mod spent the rest of his day in therapy as he could not unsee. They asked Evil what he was doing and he replied with...
Part 7: Viet's Escapade and Love's Therapy...?
By VietnameseRooster
Viet do this, Viet do that. He wasn't even sure why he had come to work at this potato plantation in the first place. EvilCreation scared even him with this odd potato fetish, and he was technically a crossdresser! But that was beside the point; Viet was done working at this place and that was final. His "family" were just some poor sods who sold fruits and vegetables, and just happened to come to the plantation to buy potatoes. On the other hand, Viet had his own personal life to attend to so sticking around would just raise questions. Evil wouldn't even recognize him anyway, considering he literally hired Viet as he was walking down the street. Oh well, might as well have some fun, Viet thought.
He raided the tool shed and grabbed a can of gasoline, and started pouring it all over the remaining potato crops, spuds or not they were going to be incinerated. Humming as he coated the unfortunate vegetables in flammable liquid, he caught sight of the lawnmower that had blown up and burned down the house. It was gone. In front of the blackened spot where it had spontaneously combusted, he figured it had seemingly started up again and mowed straight through what was left of the house in its path. Though, that lawnmower was still going, even to this day. Mowing across who and whatever was in the way as it continued its wrath upon the world.
As he looked around, Viet didn't see much left, just the potato crop, the burning remains of the plantation house, and the tool shed. Burning the crops wasn't enough. This place would need to be wiped off the face of the Earth. He took out his phone, thinking. Now, who would specialize in getting rid of this... Eggy pope. The name came back to him like a disfigured, muscular egg man with a pretty sweet haircut. Originally Eggy Pop, he got sick of being the Elvis of the egg world, so he preferred to just suddenly grow a body out of cannibalizing other eggs.
Wait what. Oh, right. Viet ran like hell as the potatoes started melting, and sang; "Burn, burn burn! Like a burnin' ring of fire!" "I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher!" "The ring of fire, the ring of fire!" His faux British accent didn't exactly help how psychopathic he sounded as he skipped away while EvilCreation's future salaries burned to the ground. It was invigorating, though.
Love shivered as she sat in the chair across the table from her assigned therapist, whom had their chair turned to her. It was pretty obvious that she officially had a phobia of potatoes. As for what it took to get them out...she didn't want to think about it. Let's just say there was a lot of pulling, and pain, oh the pain. The painkillers they had given her had helped, kind of. Doesn't help that she had this glassy, empty stare going on. The chair turned around, revealing...
Viet. Wait what the hell was Viet doing here. She raised a finger to say something but stopped as Viet stood up and put his hands on the table. "Now, I know what you're thinking? Why am I a therapist?" She slowly nodded. "I'll tell you why! SIince burning down that plantation I've decided I want to help people, for better or worse." A lightbulb went off in Love's head. He burnt down EvilCreation's potato crop didn't he. That's one redeeming factor to him, at least. Thinking this, she blinked a few times with her bloodshot eyes. Sitting back down, Viet took out a clipboard. "Now, it says here you're diagnosed with...tuberphobia?" She nodded. "Whats that, exactly?" She just looked at him. "RIght, fear of potatoes then." Viet stood up, pacing around the room with his hands behind his back. "To be completely honest, I don't know the first thing about being a therapist."
Love's eye twitched. "What." He shrugged. "I thought it would be easier, y'know?" He turned around, looking at some books on a shelf. She slowly stood up, tiptoeing over to him. Opening a book, Viet panned through it. "Tuberphobia, tuberphobia, tuberphobia...." She smiled evily. "Oh, here it is!" Just as Viet started to turn around, she grabbed him by both ends of his red scarf and started choking him. Viet couldn't exactly process what was going on right now, why was his patient strangling him. She let go, grabbing the antique Violin which hung over the door. "That's an antique, what are you doing?!" Viet shouted, Love smashing him over the head with it and watching him collapse unconscious on the floor.
She grabbed the clipboard, and started writing something, dropping it on Viet's body as she walked out of the room.
By Love and Krieg
It said "Cured." With that, she could continue her conquest for Chosy's love, and get a real therapist. She then washed her hands in the bathroom to get rid of the blood stains and walked out nonchalantly. She eventually walked to Chosy's house and snuck in through an open window where Chosy was letting a pie cool.
She then slowly crept up onto Chosy who was preparing a meal of potatoes. As she appeared behind Chosy. Chosy reached for the nearest item to defend himself with. He took the potatoes near him and started to wave and rub them on Love. She paused for a moment and started to hyperventilate. Chosy had realized what he had to do. He thought that maybe if he cured Love, she would leave him alone.
Part 8: Love's ACTUAL Therapy (With Chosy)
By VietnameseRooster
Chosy placed the potatoes down on the counter. Love gave him a hesitant look. He slapped a hand to his face. "I'm well aware of your lust for me. But will you PLEASE leave me alone so I can do my job for once?" She shook her head. He sighed. "Fine, I have a proposition. Whatever that crazy potato fetishist did to you I will work to cure." Her eyes lit up. Therapy? WIth Chosy? Yes, yes! "But on one condition. If I am in fact successful in curing you then will you leave me alone?" Love's happiness turned to sadness. "Forever." She shook her head. Chosy drummed his fingers on the kitchen counter, this was going to be a long day.
EvilCreation stepped off the bus, home from a long day of work. What he saw were he charred remains of his plantation. This didn't surprise him very much but as he walked through what was left from the front door's frame and set his briefcase down on the table the sight before him made his blood boil. Someone had burned down his potato crop! The plantation house could be rebuilt, but his potatoes? That was just too damn far! He glared, looking around. He spotted a can of gasoline strewn out beside the blackened crops. He clenched his fists together, eye twitching. It was that supposed immigrant he had hired wasn't it? The one that he had punished for sending the lawnmower hurling into the house? Of course it was. Damn him.
He honestly wasn't sure if this girl could be cured. He had already tried giving her a hammer and letting her smash a bunch of potatoes but that just ended up with her throwing it down and tackling him. Scented candles? Didn't work either, she grabbed Chosy, let him on fire, and threw him down onto the ground so they dropped and rolled together. Even relaxing music had failed, because she just put on some other stuff (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYYo3T6nCw8) instead, probably to seduce him. Chosy sat down in his armchair, thinking. Love had snuck up behind him. "Hiiiii Chosy." She said it in this giddy tone which creeped him out. He shrunk down into the chair. "What do you want?" Love hopped into the chair, sitting in his lap. "I know what would cuuuuure me." He blushed a bit. "And what is that, exactly?" She put her head on his shoulder and whispered into his ear. "Yooou." Chosy looked at her. 'Um."
Kicking the door down, Evil stormed into the house. "Where is Viet? Where is that arsonist who killed my babies?" The sound of the door crashing to the floor startled Love and Chosy. She put her arms around his neck, looking back at Evil. "Viet. That cheap, crossdressing little prick. Now." Evil walked into the living room, seeing what was happening. He stopped and blinked a few times. "Oh, I see you two are a little busy so I'll just be on my way now!" He tipped his top hat out of respect and walked backwards out of Chosy's home. "Wait, no, come back damnit!" Chosy shouted, trying to get up and break out of Love's grasp. She smiled mischievously. "Shh. He won't be troubling us anymore." Love kissed him on the cheek and Chosy screamed.
Viet wandered the sidewalk, looking around. Well, his plan to become a therapist and help people hadn't exactly succeeded. It ended quite badly in fact, with him being knocked unconscious by a violin wielded by a crazy girl with a potato phobia. Did he also mention she was only his first patient? After discovering his body on the floor, the staff fired him and left him out back in his usual garb. Minus the white coat and badge he had worn. What was there to do now? In only two days he had burned down the plantation of a crazy potato farmer and gotten fired from a job as a therapist. His only calling in life now was playing RPGs and killing zombies. Well, aside from personal things but that wasn't the concern here. What was next for him? Not crossdressing as his so-called "waifu" would be a great start. And getting rid of this damn scarf, since it wasn't winter.
Chosy woke up in a bed, his arms tied to rope on each of the bedposts. This was his bed, but why was he-- oh no. Love stood in the doorway. He struggled, trying to break out of the rope which held his arms in place. She put a hand to her face. Chosy frowned. "Now, I'm sure we can talk this out or something if you would just GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS ROPE!" She laughed, dropping the mask on the floor and placing her fedora on the door handle. Chosy just sat there dumbfounded as he saw Love's true face. She had black hair along with hazel colored eyes. She crawled into bed with Chosy and hugged him. He sighed, hoping for some kind of unexplained phenomenon to ruin this moment so he could escape. But it didn't come. Days became weeks, weeks became months - but Chosy never escaped from this hell, and slowly but surely accepted his fate. Forgotten.
The End.